Translator’s Note
This translation refers to Book I, Part 1 and Book II, Part 1 of Personal Stories from Fodor’s: Durham, NC.   It is seen that a freelance writer did both pieces and meant to give the reader some knowledge of some types of people in Durham, as to further enhance their knowledge of the area.  However, some words or passages were left out of this translation because the Southern English either could not be understood by the translator or it was impossible to translate the meaning into Standard English.  However, whenever possible, the Southern dialect was translated into readable English.

     Upon careful inspection, the hair salon is one of the few places in this world where all people go, for all men and women cut their hair in this busy world.  Without such establishments all would walk this country with split ends  and discolored hair due to home dying jobs.  The salon is a place where the most universal human emotion, fear, is exposed as all people, from the wealthiest man to the lowest paid worker, must put their lovely locks in the hands of the stylist who holds razors and the most finely sharpened scissors, prepared to transform the victim’s image.  All men and women are made equal when they take off their delicate shirts and put on the dark rayon smock, taking that plunge into the unknown world of wondering what their hair will look like after the half hour of shaving, cutting, and trimming.   The young innocent girl wonders if her hair will look like the photo she described to her stylist of the short, hip bob, or if it will in horror look like her fellow 12-year old male classmates.  The old man prays that his hairdresser will not cut off the five-inch flap of seventeen long gray hairs attempting to hide the bowling ball-like shine of his balding head.
The hair salon not only accepts the young and old, rich and poor, but also is a location where every human emotion is exposed and shown.  For example, while at the beginning the customer feels the panic of fear, after awhile he or she always sits back and enjoys the experience, basking in the comfort and relaxation of the environment.  This creates the need for the “Code of Hair Salons” which states that all disputes occurring in the salon must stay in the salon, all gossip heard and talked about in the salon stays within the walls of the salon, and the most important rule, that no matter what ones hair looks like after the style, the patron must always remember that hair will always grow back.
In response to the professor’s request, urgent as usual, I created this book as my final, senior paper in college during the Year of the 2001 in the 4th month, and blew dry this little story.
      By Emily Kaufman
      At her sunny house in Durham, NC

Author’s Note
After an enjoyable manicure at Beauty Quest, hearing the many lively stories of the women in the establishment, I could not help but notice how each person in such a place adds a bit of their own personality to this fast world.   Beside me sat my professor getting a pedicure and she asked if I could pull together several stories on the hair salons of both men and women, commenting on the flavor of life in these places.  I agreed to do so and began work on the men’s barbershop.
 

The Hair Salon of the Frenetic World: A Quaint Book I, Part 1
The Men’s Barber Shop
Compiled for the Hope of All to Enjoy, in Durham, NC
By Emily Kaufman

    The male species has subtle, yet very deep love for the hair.  Whether it is on the face or head, back or leg, the man, though he may hide this fact, is quite concerned with his hair.  This can be shown by the endless number of gels and creams available for men to put into their hair.  Perhaps this love exists because the typical man in the United States is not with lack of hair, so he either tries to hide that which he feels is “wrongly placed”, such as the hair between the eyebrows or the unibrow, but then accentuates and puts much care and love into his lovely locks on the head.  Such comes into play the barbershop, for what would man not only look like, but also feel like without this establishment?  For some men, the beard is a piece of art, one that requires daily responsibility and care.  The barber tends after this piece of work with gentle precision, allowing no room for error.
But the barbershop is not just a place for the cutting of hairs.  It is one where old friends meet everyday and simply speak of the weather.  Or where the most avid of sport fans gather to argue with each other about the upcoming championship.  Or where the busy father brings his adoring son to have his first haircut, but more importantly share much needed quality time.  In all, the barbershop is a place filled with the smell of shampoo and shaving cream, the sounds of music, TV, and laughter, and most important the emotions of the human character.

The Barbershop: Morning Scenes

The sun had only been out for an hour or so and Willie, the old, gray haired, speckled barber slowly walked to his little shop on the corner.   Being April, the temperature was already a bit high and the humidity hung in the air like a sauna.  Willie had lived in this part of the South for all his life, and although he always got very uncomfortable at this time, he could not imagine living anywhere else.  The heat could be seen almost literally through his light blue barber’s shirt as he was already getting rings of sweat on his back and armpits.   “Good thing I just got me a new cah.   Wheeeewww…this Mercy-Dees really flies to work so I don’t have to stay in the car for long out in this here heat”, he muttered to himself.   Willie had done ok for himself at the barbershop, but he was from old money and his passion had always been hair, so he saw no need to dwell in his families oil business like his other siblings had done.

    Less than four minutes after Willie unlocked the door to his shop and turned on the red and blue swivel sign, he heard two familiar voices approach his business.   “Aw hell, you’re full of cra-ap.  You’r just jealous ‘cuz you know you lost and you wanna cry!” said Uzzle, a man of about 65-years whose blood ran dark blue.
“Shuut up!  All the refs did wuz call any foul that would ben-fit Duke.  I tell ya, all season long, awl the teams would just hay-nd over the games to Duke because they wer’ scared of them.  I caint stand it any mo’.  The whole thang is just pathetic,” cried Marvin whose Carolina pride went deep.
“Gentlemen, gentlemen, how ‘bout we stop this here nonsense for ‘while and come own in,” Willie interrupted.  “Can I get ya’ll something to drink, eat?”  Willie was used to this bantering between the two men.  He had known them since childhood and knew this as all just talk.  The big Duke-UNC bball game was last night and obviously Duke had won.  As the two men picked through the first of the Krispie Kreme’s, Willie poured two cups of coffee, one for Uzzle, black, and one for Marvin, four lumps of sugar.  Ever since Uzzle and Marvin retired from the bank four years back, they had been meeting at Willie’s every morning to talk, argue, eat, and of course, get their morning shave.

* * As the sun was warming up the sky, and the streets were becoming more congested, the little corner barbershop became much busier.  Willie’s other barber, Jonny, who was about 25, wearing scuffed Nikes, a baggy yellow polo shirt, and what looked like chlorine abused khaki shorts, sauntered into the shop with his trademark goofy smile.
“Ashley, what’s up man!   Here I thought you was a-coming in later this afternoon.  What, you don’t hafta be at your big banking job this mornin’?”
Ashley, with his dirty blond hair, still ruffled from sleep, was already sitting in Jonny’s chair, with his full dark suit and bright yellow silk tie with stripes.  “Man, I had to tell you about my night last night.  Wheeeww-eeeee!  You know that girl Mandy from Top Of The Hill who is always there?”
“No way man!  You lucky dawg!  Damn, all the boys want her!”
“Well I was eating out last night with the guys at work at Top O’ and she was there.  Well, we started talking about her and then they were teasing me saying there was no way she would go out with me.  But you know I’m the ladies man.   So walked over to her, and within 30 seconds of her being near my suave self, I had my self a lady for the night.  The rest…well it’s history, but lets say she’ll never forget my name!”
After talking more about the previous night’s festivities, Jonny gave Ashley a new ‘do so that he was guaranteed Ashley and Mandy’s first night wasn’t their last.

The Hair Salon of the Frenetic World: A Quaint
Book I, Part 1
Conclusion

In response not only the excellent grade I received for the “Barbershop”, but for the mass hysteria it caused all over campus, riots occurring over what was a very positive reaction to my little ditty, I was requested, and felt compelled to, write another set of episodes on the hair salon.  Although the men’s barbershop is always filled with the ruckus of men arguing or boasting their manliness, the woman’s hair salon is an entire world of its own.  Even if there were only five women in the salon at once, a visitor would hear all five voices speaking at the same time.  The hairdresser in this venue is not just there to cut, color, and blow dry, but also acts as a friend, a source of gossip, and a therapist.  If the barbershop was seen as more of slow blow dry, the woman’s salon is a diffuser, crimper, and French twist all at once.   People run in and out, constantly giving women messages on the latest bargain sale or perhaps a child will sulk in saying that her older brother is teasing her again.  No matter what, there is never a dull moment in a salon as long as women are able to change their hair color from poo poo brown to platinum blond.

Written on the 5th day of the 5th month in 2001.
By French braid master, Emily Kaufman

The Hair Salon of the Frenetic World: A Quaint Book II, Part 1
The Women’s Hair Salon
By the Durham Diva, Emily Kaufman
Scenes from the Afternoon

     “Ding, ding, ding”, the sound of the bell hanging on the door at the hair salon in Durham was almost as common as the sound of the “swish swoosh” of hair being washed or the “Brrrh brrrh” of the hair dryer at it’s maximum power of 1875 watts.  Sandy’s is the hottest place in town, and yet it is a hair salon.  The owner of the salon, Sandy with her color of the week in her hair, chestnut red, had poofed her hair so that it looked close to a basketball sitting on her head.  Despite her hair catastrophe for the day, most days she did not look like this and always had a full appointment book for the week.  In fact, in the past two years ‘Sandy’s’ had grown from a one-woman, hair only operation, to that of a seven-stylist salon, including manicures, pedicures, and the most important for women in sunny NC where the bathing suits start to appear in May, waxing!

     As Sandy was giving her well known and trusted opinion about the bad outlook of a woman’s dark brown-yet-bleach-blond-highlighted hair, which “looked like a porcupine”, Beth burst into the salon.  “OH, MAH, GAWD.  Girls I have found it.  Fahnally found it.  I have found mah self and mah tru way.”
 Beth, a woman of about 45-years was married to a very well respected banker in the community and while she was quite involved in volunteer activities, entertaining guests, and other events, she had recently decided to “find herself”.   So she invested in some yoga books, and before she, her husband, or her kids knew, she was flying to San Diego for Fung Sui lessons.   So this burst Beth had in the salon was nothing new to anyone in there.  Still out of breath, she fired out, “Everyone, I met this man Robert, and he is one of the most important people IN THE WORLD.  I mean he is so in touch with himself.”

     “Honey why don’t you put on the smock so we can get started on your hair and then talk,” interjected Sandy quietly but with authority.  As Beth put on the smock in the dressing room all the other women in the salon were snickering about her, saying how she had too much money for her own good, and if she found enough money she would leave her husband as quick as she could to “truly find herself”.  But soon enough Beth came out of the changing room ready to enlighten everyone with ears in the house about the next best thing.  “Ok, so Robert, he has like this beautiful long hair, which is so healthy because he is so in touch with himself.  I mean, he doesn’t even have a watch.”

     Some woman underneath a blower yelled, “Yeah, you don’t need a watch if you don’t hayve a job and no responsibilities” while all the other women laughed, yet upon reflection it looked like none of these women needed watches either.

     “Listen,” said Beth, “thayt’s beside the point.  This weekend Iam going to a three-day workshop on breathing.  It is only $1200 and I promise you Sandy, you will feel so much better if you do this.  I mean everything will be clear to you.

     Sandy said as polite as possible with a chuckle, “Beth, I already know how to breathe.  I’ve been doing it for 42 years and I don’t need to pay $1200 to learn how.”

     “I knew you would say this, and Iam still going to try and get you.  Just promise you will think about it”, sparked Beth.

 “Ok, I’ll think”, said Sandy with her fingers crossed as she mixed Beth’s new color, Buddha-licious Blond.

* *

     Even if the shades were down at Sandy’s, it would be known when the afternoon came around as the smell of bleach, nail polish remover, and heat from the dryers came to a collective high.  “Girl, we need to get some windows open in the place, or one of those new Febreeze outlets cuz it stank in here!” shouted Dana.  Dana had been working at Sandy’s for the past several months, but was a great asset to the place as she brought many of her clients from David’s, her previous place of employment.  You see Dana was formerly Dan, and had decided that perhaps a change in her life would lead to more enjoyment.  It certainly did and her female clients at David’s were so happy to get out of that male-heavy salon (they couldn’t truly gossip there!) so they followed her right on over to Sandy’s.  No one could really tell Dana used to be a Dan, except that her hands and feet were rather large and her voice was rather low.  But she could just be an alto, and anyway her foils were out of this world!
     “Ok, who’s up next!  Oh Anne, what a fine surprise.  What do you want to do today? Shall we shave it all off?  Ha ha ha ha!”
    Anne shuffled over to the chair with a glum face and plopped herself on the chair.  “Its hopeless, you might as well shave it all off.”
    “What’s this tone I hear Negative Nancy?” exclaimed Dana.
    “Oh, I was trying on dresses this weekend for a wedding and I was in one of those horrible dressing rooms that have mirrors so you can see ALL around you.  Well as I was taking off my pants I made the mistake of looking at my behind only with panties on.  BIG MISTAKE!  It looked like someone poured cottage cheese all over the back of my legs.   How depressing!” cried Anne.
    A chorus of “I hear that!” rose from the entire salon.  The Hippo Hips, Thunder Thighs problem is one most women in the United States, and especially the South from eating lots of good ol’ fried Southern Food, can relate to.  When the subject of food and weight appears at a woman’s hair salon, no woman is at loss for words.  All of a sudden women started shouting what they heard was the newest diet craze and the results, or most likely lack of.  “I heard if you eat only cabbage soup and grapefruits you will lose at least 20 pounds!” claimed one woman.  “No, that doesn’t work you fool!  You have to eat only meat and beans and bananas.  That’s the way to go.  My cousin’s, husband’s, baby-sitter’s, teacher lost 4 dress sizes with that.” exclaimed another.
“Oh, it doesn’t matter”, said Anne.  “I’ve tried everything and I always stay this big.  Anyway, my nemesis is chocolate.  I swear I could eat my own body weight in dark chocolate, even thought I wouldn’t walk across the street for milk chocolate.  In the meantime, how about some chocolate brown highlights Dana.  Oops, there I go again!”

Notes to the Translation
Translator’s Note
The following notes to the translation are based on the footnotes noted in passages chosen from Fodor’s: Durham, NC, written by Emily Kaufman.  Definitions of words, customs, and practices have not been given sources as they are common knowledge to the people in the area and may be found in any number of dictionaries or encyclopedias.

NOTES

  i. Fodor’s is a famous and well respected travel guide.
  ii. Split ends refer to hair when it splits into several parts at the end of the strand.  This occurs when the hair is not cut frequently and can turn into a catastrophe for the hair if not taken care of.
  iii. The phrase, “All men and women are made equal” is an allusion to the Constitution of the United States which states, “All men and women are created equal”.
  iv. This type of behavior is common among balding men, though usually the end result of the man’s careful manipulation of the hairs does not hide his bald spot.
  v. It is understood that the author of this piece wrote the paper primarily for her college class. The author was originally from Durham, NC and was there in Durham with the Professor at the time when she was first asked to write the paper.  When the Professor read the paper, she was thoroughly amused by it and thought it would be a great little piece to put into a travel book on the region the author explains.  From then, Fodor’s picked up the piece and added it to their book on Durham, NC.
  vi. A manicure is a treatment where one’s nails are painted a color.
  vii. A pedicure is a treatment where one’s toenails are painted a color.
  viii. Speckled refers to the fact that Willie was wearing eyeglasses.
  ix. Old time barbers often wear a similar shirt to work that is a thin cotton, light blue shirt with no buttons on the front.
  x. Here, and in other dialogue in the stories, Kaufman tries to phonetically spell the dialects heard in the South.
  xi. The Mercedes Willie refers to is the Mercedes S-class that is one of the most expensive imported cars that one can purchase in the United States.  It costs fully loaded, that is with all the options added, around $90,000.
  xii. Old money refers to a family who has been wealthy for at least several generations.
  xiii. This sign marks the entrance to a barbershop.
  xiv. True sport fans are said to bleed the color of their team.  So with Marvin, he is an avid Duke basketball fan, so would bleed Duke –dark blue.
  xv. The University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill is about eight miles from Duke University, which is Durham.  These two teams have one of the most fierce basketball rivalries in college basketball.
  xvi. Ashley, though normally a female name, is male name as well in the South.
  xvii. Top Of The Hill is a famous bar in Chapel Hill, NC where lots of men and women in their 20’s go.
  xviii. The “ladies man” refers to a nickname for men who get lots of dates and always have women who want to date them.  These men are seen as slick and rather cheesy at times.  The “ladies man” also refers to a skit performed on Saturday Night Live, a popular Saturday night comedy show, where a man imitates this sort of “ladies man”.
  xix. Diffusing and crimping are techniques to get the hair to be very curly and wild.  The French twist is an elaborate style of hair in which the hair is twisted up from the neck to the top of the head and pinned in place.  All of three of these styles require lots of work.
  xx. Waxing is a painful procedure to get rid of unwanted hair where hot wax is poured onto the skin where the unwanted hair rests.  The wax is then ripped of and the hair comes with it.
  xxi. This term refers to a time in one’s life when some people feel they are missing something big, so they try lots of different things to “find out who they really are” so they can feel complete.
  xxii. Fung Sui is a Chinese way of thought that states everything has a physical place in this world.  So one would reorganize all the furniture in her house to make sure it was in the right energy fields and so on.
  xxiii. “Foils” refer to the process of coloring the hair where the stylist places a piece of hair on a strip of foil and then paints the color on to the hair.  After that the foil and hair is wrapped up and closed and the color then sinks into the hair.
  xxiv. Cottage cheese is a white, lumpy yogurt looking food.  The cottage cheese refers to the cellulite or fat deposits on the back of Anne’s leg.